Imago Dei Relationship Institute

Anger is natural, but the way we
respond may be sin.

“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go
down while you are still angry, and do not give
the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26 NIV).”

You can't be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature...

Anger Management Support Group

Ongoing Support Group

Open to all adults seeking group anger management.

The goal of anger management therapy is not to eliminate anger, but to use it as a signal that there is a problem or issue that needs to be addressed. Individuals in the group are taught how to slow down their arousal when angered, so that it can be processed and acted on in a proper way without the negative consequences when it is uncontrolled.

Cost: $50 per individual, per session or $300 for 8 weeks.
Individual Sessions are $125.

Joe Whitcomb, M.A. is a Marriage and Family Therapist and Founder of Imago Dei Relationship Institute.
REGISTERED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST INTERN
Supervised by Neil Goldberg, LCSW
To register, email joe@joewhitcombtherapy.com or call 310-560-0726.

Anger and Emotional Intelligence

While researchers may disagree on how the emotion of anger is developed and expressed throughout life, everyone agrees that anger is an emotion with significant consequences in your life. Often “feeling terms” such as resentment, annoyance, or frustration are associated with anger, and none of these are positive.

Yet, anger may serve various constructive purposes, when properly understood and managed. At its root, anger is an expression that you are unable (for various reasons) to achieve a certain goal or objective. Anger is a “feedback energy” to your psyche that things are not going as you might like or expect. The question is how to manage anger for constructive purposes.

Information in this emotion:
When you are angry, the internal feedback is that you perceive an individual has:

Failed to fulfill an expectation or agreement

Intentionally violated an important value or principle

Created a barrier to reaching an objective

Misused or misjudged you in some way

Gotten in your way intentionally

This emotion serves you by:
The emotion of anger prompts your body to prepare to fight or demonstrate protest. With anger, you are preparing for a physical response such as yelling or even physical contact. This emotion serves to focus attention, and when prompted for good reason, it can harness motivation to change policies, laws, and influence others. This contributes to a state of motivated interest even if it is negative.

Variations by Type
When we experience anger, everyone has the same neurological event. However, the triggers of anger vary by personality type. What one type experiences as a violation of trust, principles, or agreements is not the same as another. Summarized below are the triggers by the mental functions of psychological type:

Sensing +Thinking Triggers:

Lack of attention to detail
Lack of verification of information
Failure to follow through as specifically described
Inefficiency

Sensing + Feeling Triggers:

Failure to respond to personal inquiry
Failure to acknowledge hands-on efforts
Lack of attention to personal needs

Intuiting + Feeling Triggers:

Perceived condescension, insensitivity
Focus on “it” or “task” rather than on the individual’s needs
Failure to acknowledge efforts
Judgmental

Intuiting + Thinking Triggers:

Incompetence
Irrationality
Lack of logical basis for decisions
Failure to address competence after it has been identified

Short Cut: Transform this emotion to a constructive use by:

Acknowledging the anger and reflecting with the individual on the prompter for the response (e.g. feel misunderstood, obstructed, etc)
Exploring the desired outcome of “setting things right”
Discussing how anger relates to what you feel is important -- how you feel threatened and how to redirect that energy into less stressful strategies that will produce a positive outcome (e.g. problem solving)